All the times I couldn't lay it on the line
This old conscience that I could never follow
I hate to say it but I wish it wasn't mine
All the broken hearts that didn't see it comin’
All the tears that should have never hit the floor
All the lookin’ back but mainly all the runnin’
All these reasons I’m standing at your door
I think I've had enough
This time I’m givin’ in
Without you it’s too rough
So I’m standing here again
I finally realize
It’s love that never dies
And I’m really not that tough
No I’m really not that tough
I think I've had enough
Life is gonna be a circus
Rain or shine
Rides did always make me nervous
So if I’m gonna ride the Ferris wheel I’ll need your hand in mine
I've think I've had enough
This time I’m giving in
Without you it’s too rough
So I’m crawling back again
I've finally realize
It’s love that never dies
And I’m really not that tough
No I’m really not that tough
I think I've had enough
I’m really not that tough
I think I've had enough
Think I've had enough
... Strange things happen in my life
When I find myself having a bad day like most people I will post a thing or two on Facebook or Twitter... The Champ would then send me flower ... well he did once ... Beautiful yellow Tulips it was nice of him but unnecessary. I did not post those things to get flowers. It was more just that I wanted someone other then me to know what was going on in my life. At this point I have blocked The Champ from my Facebook page. I want every much to be his friend... As much as I want that I think we may need a little space for that to happen because he had or may still have stronger feelings for me then I had for him (I don't know because he tells me one thing and The Coach another)
May 11 was Mothers day weekend... My southern family came up ... We went to My favorite watering hole in town... My sisters are (for lack of a better word) lame and went home long before I did. So sitting at my favorite table in my favorite bar with BF#3 when I ran into someone I haven't seen in YEARS (or at least one) someone who is five years older then I am. Someone I have known since I was like 12. Someone I had a great big crush on (but really who didn't have a crush on their older sister or brother's friends) We talked, he told me about his son and that he is was single... we talk, about the bar and banquet hall where I work and that I was also single. We exchanged phone numbers. We have hung out twice and and talk everyday if only a "Hi, how's your day going" It new and nice and I am really enjoying it. The Irishman named him Mr. Smitten so I guess that's what I'll call him. One of the girls that works with me is from town and knows Mr.Smitten as well. When Sport (her nickname) was asked about him (because working in a bar is like high school all over again so everyone has to know everything about everybody) Her response was that he was a stand up kinda guy who would treat me right... Not only was I standing there when she said that but everyone at the bar told me she said that too...
In February BF#3 and I went to The Rave to see Gary Allan (who we both love) In April we added to the Group to head back to The Rave to see Randy Houser (who is up and coming a put on a great show)... In August BF#3 and I are headed to the State Fair to see Both of them together... I cant wait
I have found that living 7 hours away from your best guy friend leaves an opening in your life for a new best guy friend... enter The Irishman. We talk on the phone a lot and text some. Hes a good "not" friend and the best part is he doesn't have the 'I'll be really nice to her and then get in her pants' kinda thing going on. He is just there to listen to me. As this point I feel like I could tell him anything and he would not judge me. I need that in my life... sometimes it nice to get a guys point of view that is not A- your dad or brother-in-law or B someone trying to sleep with you. It helps that he doesn't sugar coat things so I know what he really thinks about thinks.
I'm trying to get a life ... Hanging out with Mr.Smitten and Tuesday dinners with BF#3 and I'm now playing volleyball Thursday nights. Having a life is helping me stay positive and happy. I always have something to look forward to I am slowly but surely finishing my book... and reading lots as I go. Life is better lately then it has been is while. I'm happy all the time. I can't stop smiling... my life is good and I honestly think that even if all the good went away again I could find a way to get it all back ... I'm happy and loving life...
Have Faith
K*
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