Beneath that moon that was really a disco ball
I can still feel my head on your shoulder
And hoping that song would never be over
I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart
I brushed your curls back so I could see your eyes
And the way you moved me was like you were reading my mind
I can still feel you lean in to kiss me
I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me
I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart
You headed off to college at the end of that summer
And we lost touch
I guess I didn't realize even at the moment we lost so much
I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart
Nah nah nah nah (x3)
Away with my heart
Nah nah nah nah (x3)
...
Today is a day like any other Tuesday ... I slept in I cleaned up my room I had lunch with my mom. I started thinking about my weekend. I finished my book. I got my nails done and went to library I ran to wal-mart. I had dinner with BF#3. But tonight we went to Brothers for a beer with one of the bouncers because it's his birthday. We hung out with 3 of my favorite bodyguards (that's what I call the bouncers at Brothers) One of them had been married 2 different times... and is never getting married again. He was giving out free advice. It made me open about stuff I don't talk about. Now mind you the beer and shots didn't help me keep my mouth closed at all. (one beer and two shots yes I'm a light weight.) I wasn't too drunk to drive by any means but I talk a lot when I start drinking. It doesn't help that Thursday is He who shall not be named's birthday. Lets just say he's been on my mind a lot this week.(or the past week).
Strange things happen in my life... I have nightmares about being kidnapped. I have nightmares period. One I can't always wake up from. So I don't sleep well. I take melatonin to help me sleep as long as I can get 8 hours of sleep. It helped for a while. Now I am back to having nightmares but because of the melatonin I can't ever wake myself up.
I am angry about everything and nothing all at the same time... I cry a lot... I am sad all the time. But I put on a brave face. That my dears is why I work so much, why I pull away from everyone and everything. I run from things that could hurt me. I've been hurt I don't wanna do it again. I am afraid all the time. At this point I only trust about 3 people who are not blood related to me. I can't bring myself to do it. People hurt other people. People are mean and nasty. People just plain suck...
Tonight after bring up old memory's I wrote this post knowing that I need to pack my suitcase for my much needed weekend away with my sister. Sometimes I just needed to say these things out loud to someone anyone and just pray that it helps me. Maybe now that i have said these things I will sleep soundly and dreamlessly. I will not go upstairs and pack before going to sleep. I am working open to close tomorrow. It will be a good distraction from all the crazy thoughts in my head...
Have Faith
K*
Dancing away with my heart...
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