I keep going to the river to pray
'Cause I need something that can wash all the pain
And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake
My friends had you figured out
Yeah, they saw what's inside of you
You tried hiding another you
But your evil was coming through
These eyes sitting on the wall
They watch every move I make
Bright light living in the shade
Your cold heart makes my spirit shake
I had to go through hell to prove I'm not insane
Had to meet the devil just to know his name
And that's when my love was burning
Yeah, it's still burning
[2x:]
I keep going to the river to pray
'Cause I need something that can wash all the pain
And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake
Each time that I think you go
I turn around and you're creeping in
And I let you under my skin
'Cause I love living in the sin
Boy you never told me
True love was going to hurt
True pain I don't deserve
Truth is that I never learn
[2x:]
I keep going to the river to pray
'Cause I need something that can wash all the pain
And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake
Give up the ghost
Give up the ghost
Give up the ghost
Stop the haunting baby
Give up the ghost
Give up the ghost
Give up the ghost
No more haunting baby
I keep going to the river
[2x:]
I keep going to the river to pray
'Cause I need something that can wash all the pain
And at most I'm sleeping all these demons away
But your ghost, the ghost of you
It keeps me awake
I got a text today from BF#3 ... it said
"From the Book I'm reading "You have the here and now, Chris says. 'You have a future. Deal with the past so you can stop looking back. It's just pain."
I am currently at mom and dad's house for dinner for the first time since January 2nd. I'm house sitting and it great! I forgot how nice it is to get out of the shower dry off and walk to get my cloths without a towel on. But as always there is a down side to everything in my life. I'm spending a lot of time alone. Too much time is spent thinking about things that I try not to think about. So I've been working more then normal, and watching a lot of Harry Potter. Today I went to pay my phone bill and came out with a tablet and a case with a keyboard that will run on WiFi or 4G for $10 a month. Worth it! I'm using it right now. The one down fall it no iTunes. But I think I can deal with that I still have my iPhone.
Anyway so back to the text I got today. sometimes people say things to you or you'll find a quote on line that is just so spot on that it makes you wonder if you were meant to see or hear or read it. Like it was fated that BF#3 would read that book so she could send that to me. I need for handle the past rather then just working overtime so I'm too tired to think. But when you've been putting something off as long as I have (like 4 years) how do you then go back and face it to get closure? Is that even possible/feasible? Or are the mistakes in my past something I just need to write off and just forget about. Lets be for real about this. No one runs from a problem like I do. For gosh sake I ran 7 hours away then last time. I guess that's something I will have to decide on my own. Or maybe the real question here is can I live the ghost of my past or will they haunt me forever.
Just a thought for today...
That's All
Have Faith
K*
