I knew you were trouble ~Taylor Swift

[Music video spoken part:]
I think--I think when it's all over,
It just comes back in flashes, you know?
It's like a kaleidoscope of memories.
It just all comes back. But he never does.
I think part of me knew the second I saw him that this would happen.
It's not really anything he said or anything he did,
It was the feeling that came along with it.
And the crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way again.
But I don't know if I should.
I knew his world moved too fast and burned too bright.
But I just thought, how can the devil be pulling you toward someone who looks so much like an angel when he smiles at you?
Maybe he knew that when he saw me.
I guess I just lost my balance.
I think that the worst part of it all wasn't losing him.
It was losing me.

Once upon a time a few mistakes ago
I was in your sights, you got me alone
You found me, you found me, you found me
I guess you didn't care, and I guess I liked that
And when I fell hard you took a step back
Without me, without me, without me

And he's long gone when he's next to me
And I realize the blame is on me

'Cause I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

No apologies. He'll never see you cry,
Pretends he doesn't know that he's the reason why.
You're drowning, you're drowning, you're drowning.
Now I heard you moved on from whispers on the street
A new notch in your belt is all I'll ever be
And now I see, now I see, now I see

He was long gone when he met me
And I realize the joke is on me, yeah!

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

And the saddest fear comes creeping in
That you never loved me or her, or anyone, or anything, yeah

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
'Til you put me down, oh
I knew you were trouble when you walked in (you were right there, you were right there)
So shame on me now
Flew me to places I'd never been
Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble
Oh, oh, trouble, trouble, trouble

I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble
I knew you were trouble when you walked in
Trouble, trouble, trouble

[Music video spoken part:]
I don't know if you know who you are until you lose who you are.

Guess how this post is going to start...

Strange things happen in my life ...(HAHAHA)

Picture it ... A bar in a small town on a Friday night...

I see a guy who I haven't seen since I worked at the Kwik Stop and we start talking ... Back story got it... I was dating He Who Shall Not Be Named and this super nice a flirty guy would come in and but cigarettes from me in his work truck.  He would talk about this girl friend so I found no harm in flirting back a little.  It ended there.  Nothing ever came of the flirtation that that happened between a working girl (not like a hooker or anything just a girl with a job) and this guy that would flirt with. Back to now... So me and this guy talked and exchanged phone number.  We talked off and on, on Saturday.  He asked me to meet in at the same bar in my small town that night and I told him I would have to let him know depending on how my night went.  So work went really well and thought a drink sounded pretty good so I texted him tell him that I'd be down later and I'd see him.  He got all excited.  So on the way home I asked my pizza guy if he know anything about him.  The response I was not what I wanted to hear.  All he told me was what a dirtbag he was.  But not wanting to go back on my word, I headed home changed and went to the bar.  I danced with a  friend and chatted with some people before I talked to him.  The first thing I heard him say was him telling someone NOT to talk to HIS girl.  Oh I'm sorry I didn't realize I was bought and paid for (once again I'm not a hooker I'm just not thinking through what I'm saying).  So I went over to him explained that I am not his girl friend and let him by me a beer.  I then asked him if everything I heard was true.  He told me it was for the most part and made a few corrections to the story.  I had at this point already made my choice that I would never even thing about dating him. Mostly because he is a dirtbag.  

So then I am getting ready to leave right because it like bar time at this point when one of my bouncer comes up to me saying he has to talk to me right away.  I thought alright and walked away with him.  He then tall me that the Dirtbag that I am talking to was making out with some other girl before I got to the bar.  And that he wasn't very smart about it because I would be able to see it on the cameras.  So I hugged him and said thank you and headed home.  DirtBag called me at 3 in the morning to make sure I got home safe because the  2 1/2 block walk was SO long.  I was sleeping.  He texted me the next day saying good morning beautiful have a good day.

My response was something along the lines of 'Think long and hard about lying to me right now... we're you making out with some random girl last night before I got to the bar last night?'

He said 'what'

I responded with 'I work for the owner and can look at the camera feed from last night so I'll ask you again... We'er you making out with some girl last night before I got to the bar'

He said 'Yes I didn't know we were that serious.

I said ' It shouldn't matter how serious we are.  If you are trying to get me to date you, you shouldn't be macing on some other girl.  I told you Friday night I don't do second chances so Bye

He kept trying to talk to me but I wasn't having any of it so he showed up the night (Sunday stay with me people) With flowers and a card where he wrote something about Second chances are sometimes the Best chances Blah Blah Blah.  I wouldn't even go get the flowers from him.  I had Mufsha go get them for me and send him away.  I almost throw them away but I saw there were snapdragons in there and I love those so I brought them home saying nothing to him in the process.  He texted me the next day saying something about hoping to hear from and a to have a good day.  He is gone now.  Well he's still in town I'm sure but he is no longer bothering me (Because I just said that he will more then likely text me tomorrow because this is MY life were talking about here)  and I hope to never hear or see from him again...

I just thought you people out there might like this story :)

Thats all

Have Faith

K*

 

Stompin Grounds ~ JJ Lawhorn

Everybody knows just where to go when there's beer to get
And everybody still drives up that same old hill, for their first kiss
And old man Wilson he still don't know his backfield is the party spot
When the sun goes down, these are my stompin' grounds
Woah, these are my stompin' grounds

All my buddies they've been all marryin' their high school sweethearts
And you ain't got enough fingers to count the tractors in our front yards
4 wheel drives are given for gettin' back and forth in my hometown
These are my stomping grounds

Hey I live here, I'll die here and every time I look around
I see the dirt roads and the wind rows, I know what life is all about,
These are my stompin' grounds, yeah
Oh, these are my stompin' grounds

Me and my buddies we got ourselves a honey hole back in the pines
And ain't it funny how the bucks we missed get bigger, and bigger every time
I could be a million miles away or 20 minutes from my house, we're forever bound
These are my stompin' grounds

Hey I live here, I'll die here and every time I look around
I see the dirt roads and the wind rows, I know what life is all about,
These are my stompin' grounds, yeah
These are my stompin' grounds, yeah

I live here, I'll die here and every time I look around
I see the dirt roads and the wind rows, I know what life is all about,
These are my stompin' grounds, yeah
Oh, these are my stompin' grounds, yeah


I work a lot maybe some of you are aware But today I'm going to try not to talk about the bar.  Today I'm going to talk about home...some people don't understand my undying pull to this town.  I get it, I do, I was picked on in high school here.  I feel in love and was treated badly here. So many tears were shed in this very room that I am sitting in writing this.  But this is also the town where I found out that I didn't have cancer when I had the scare at the age of 22. This is where I was when sister #1 had both of her amazing children. This is where we were when sister #2 went from a family of 4 to a family of 7.  This the house I lived in when I figured out that even through it didn't feel like it at the time the world was not going to stop turning because of a man.  I lose friends and family in this town.  I made new friends and lived long enough to see them be buried as well.

I found my voice and learned about myself down south...  But I truly found myself in this room, in this house, in this town I found a job that I love and some of the best friends of my life here.  I am truly blessed to have the family that I have.  and yes I would have the same family here, there or anywhere but I might not be the same person without this town... Good or bad I want nothing more then to live in this little town for the rest of my life...

I always have had the wrong last name and wasn't good at sports but I found my niche in Drama, band and cheering.  Don't get me wrong i wouldn't go back to high school for less then a million is cash but it really wasn't that bad.  Some people would go back... Not me ... OK I would for the money and if I could take everything I have learned in the last ten years back with me.  then sure I'm in.

Really its just silliness


That's really all for today :)

Have Faith

K*

Satellite ~ Rise Aginst

You can't feel the heat until you hold your hand over the flame
You have to cross the line just to remember where it lays
You won't know your worth now, son, until you take a hit
And you won't find the beat until you lose yourself in it

That's why we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me

You can't fill your cup until you empty all it has
You can't understand what lays ahead
If you don't understand the past
You'll never learn to fly now
'Til you're standing at the cliff
And you can't truly love until you've given up on it

That's why we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me

She told me that she never could face the world again
So I offered up a plan

We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night.
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives.
When we're gone we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.

We'll sneak out while they sleep
And sail off in the night
We'll come clean and start over the rest of our lives
When we're gone we'll stay gone.
Out of sight, out of mind.
It's not too late,
We have the rest of our lives.
The rest of our lives

Because we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
So catch me if I fall
That's why we stick to your game plans and party lives
But at night we're conspiring by candlelight
We are the orphans of the American dream
So shine your light on me (shine your light on me)

Because we won't back down
We won't run and hide
Yeah, 'cause these are the things that we can't deny
I'm passing over you like a satellite
'cause these are the things that we can't deny now
This is a life that you can't deny us now

Strange things happen in my life...

Why does my blog always start like that now a days... anyway I guess nothing strange really has happened as of late... But that's mostly because nothing has happened... except work.  Between banquets and waitresses and getting the new girls trained and the new place opening who has time for a lite... I bought the new Nicholas Sparks book ... I have had it for almost 2 weeks and still have over 100 pages left (this part was wrtitten late night before I stayed up until after 3 finishing the book but it still took to long)... that's unlike me.  but I digress... who really says that anyway... I have found a way to fight off the nightmares so as long as I remember to do that every night I sleep well... That's a pulse.

I am thinking of cutting of my hair which is something that I DO NOT DO.  so just thinking about it means something right.   

What's the point in this post and that song.  Well it goes a little something like this.  With of the end of the nightmares dreams have set in.  The one that has popped (for late of a better word) up the most  is HE Who Shall Not Be Named showing up at my house telling me he is still in love with me and wants me back.  I KNOW that will not happen for two reasons... One he has a new girl, Two he let me get all the way to Indiana and live there for almost a whole year before he told me he would chance me forever.   If the shoe was on the other foot and it was me that he left I would have chased him til the end of the world and back because my love for him ran that deep.  BUT he didn't.  With the dream I keep having it makes me think about what would have happened if he would have chased me.  Would be together Married with kids ... Now please don't misunderstand I DO NOT want him back.. With all the wondering that I'm doing I am also thinking that I should have left him years before.  Like in high school when he stepped out the First time ... you know maybe the first time he called me stupid you know stuff like that.  My dreams have been making me thing and sometimes it might almost be better to be kidnapd then have to think so much ... HAHAHA I'm funny sometimes :)

I guess thats all


Have Faith

K*

When she Cries~ Restless Heart

The road I have traveled on
Is paved with good intentions
It's littered with broken dreams
That never quite came true

When all of my hopes were dying
Her love kept me trying
She does her best to hide
The pain that she's been through

When she cries at night
And she doesn't think that I can hear her
She tries to hide
All the fear she feels inside

So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cos I die a little each time
When she cries

She's always been there for me
Whenever I've fallen
When nobody else believes
She'll be there by my side

I don't know how she takes it
Just once, I'd like to make it
Then there'll be tears of joy
That fill her lovin' eyes
When she cries at night
And she doesn't think that I can hear her
She tries to hide
All the fear she feels inside

So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cos I die a little each time
When she cries

So I pray this time
I can be the man that she deserves
'Cos I die a little each time
When she cries

Strange things happen in my life...

I get asked out on a date to be blown off for a race that never happens.  I blow my knee out and have to put in 30 more hours limping around the bar (I didn't try to find anyone to work my shift I'm just whining about it).  I open the bar an hour early to be the bartender for people pre-gaming before the Badger game yesterday.  I took the weekend off to get drunk at home with some friends (and did I get drunk fast) Someone with a girlfriend thinks we should date.  Its no wonder I can't sleep and have started crying again... Strange things happen in my life... I guess that's all

Have faith 

K*

Small Enough ~ Nichole Nordeman

Oh, great God
Be small enough to hear me now

There were times when I was crying
From the dark of Daniel's den
And I had asked you once or twice
If you would part the sea again

Tonight I do not need a
Fiery pillar in the sky
Just want to know you're gonna
Hold me if I start to cry

Oh, great God
Be small enough to hear me now
Oh, great God
Be close enough to feel me now
(Oh great God be close to me)

There have been moments when I could not face
Goliath on my own
And how could I forget we marched
Around our share of Jericho's

But I will not be setting out
The fleece for you tonight
Just wanna know if everything will be alright
Oh, great God be close enough to feel me now

Oh, praise and all the honor be
To the God of ancient mysteries
Whose every sign and wonder
Turn the pages of our history

But tonight my heart is heavy
And I cannot keep from whispering, whispering
Are you there?

And I know you could leave writing
On the wall that's just for me
Or send wisdom while I'm sleeping
Like in Solomon's sweet dreams

I don't need the strength of Sampson
Or a chariot in the end
Just wanna know you still know how many
Hairs are on my head

Oh, great God
(Are you small enough)
Be small enough to hear
Me now

Faith is a great thing... Sometime I have to remind myself that my plan for my life is not or may not be God's plan for me... I Have a strong relationship with God. Stronger then most people I know that are my age... I don't go to church. But I don't feel the need to do that.

I sometimes feel like I'm being left behind... but sometimes I feel like I'm leading the way. Sometimes I wonder what I did to deserve the good and the bed. I'm a good person but GREAT things happen in my life. I have made mistakes. But really who hasn't

BF#3 and I headed off to the State Fair! It was so great The Food ... The Shopping... The animals... Randy Houser and GARY ALLAN!!


Random Fact ...Here's something you might not know about me... I was dating The Champ the first time I drove myself home. We made it about 6 days after I got back to Indiana before we broke up... I was kinda (as in not really but sorta) Seeing Frosted Flacks when I went down last Sept. I got home on a thursday and I stopped hearing from him on Monday (I think) The trip is always the test... As was proven once again with Mr. Smitten. I got there on saturday ... I stopped hearing from him on Wednesday.... That one didn't make it til I got home LOL. I digress


I haven't written such his summer. I was trying to work on my bucket list which is silly because finishing my book is on my bucket list so  ... Not very hard lol

I did see Gary Allan and Randy Houser Twice this year. GREAT shows both times... but even though I am blissfully happy with my life and my job I find that I am lonely more then I use to be (That might be because I am more sober then I have been lol) I love living rent free but I also would like my own space that was if I wanted to walk around naked I can (not that I do that but you know were I'm going with that)

But that leads me back to having faith ... My Inner Song today. Knowing that God is with me and forever and always knows how many hairs are on my head.

"At the end of the day faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. It's like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And it's not so important happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away"

I know what God has a plan I might not love then plan but I know what is has my back always

Have Faith 

K*

I added the video I want people to listen to the song... its my inner song and I like it a lot...












:)

after the chapel...

This Blog has been posted late by The best sister ever Sister#2 and Brother in-law#2 had headed off to Camp-That Thing 2013 in June with the youth group at their church.

This is my week with the kids My name is Katie... Here's a little Background on me... I am the Banquet Lead/waitress/bartender at a bar/grill/banquet hall in Wisconsin. I lived with Sister#2, Brother in-law#2 and The C’s for a while back in 2011 (maybe you remember me talking about being a house elf ) I moved back to live in my (well and sister #2’s) Hometown in the house I mostly grew up in with my Mom and Dad. yea that's right I'm 27 and I live with my mommy and daddy who do my laundry and cook me dinner. But really they won’t let me pay rent why would I leave. Would you??? Anyway enough about that nonsense this has been my week.

Friday- I worked from Noon until Two AM.
Saturday- I got up at 8:30 packed had coffee and made a 400 some mile trip south to This fine city where my Lovely sister, Brother in Law and 5 Foster Kids live.
Sunday- They leave for That Thing 2013 I then spent the day with the Kids. From we played outsider had lunch took naps played watched veggie-tales had dinner with Friends for the church played outside again took baths and went to bed.
Monday- we got dressed had breakfast went to daycare. I picked everyone up at 5 and we had dinner played read book and went to bed. After fighting we all fell asleep.
Tuesday- Much the same as Monday But we took baths again.
Wednesday- It started out the same as any other day but right at bedtime we had a bad storm roll in and at 7:45 (we go to be at 8) we were headed to the basement for 30 minutes... we hid. At 8:15ish I took the two youngest to bed and left the three oldest with family downstairs. Everyone finally went to bed about 8:45. Needless to say Thursday was LONG.
Thursday- we were all over tired but went much like Tuesday.
Friday-So far its been good the same. I’ll take uneventful. I’m OK with it. So with the kid daycare all day long I did have time to see my friends watch some TV and eat out A LOT. once again I’m OK with it. They come home tonight … I’m so sleeping in tomorrow. (Well I hope anyway)

The whole point to me hijacking this blog is that I wanted to say that my sister has 5 kids. 5 KIDS. I don’t know how they do this. Even with 2 people here all the time (which there is not mind you) I feel like all I have done is count head. I,2,3,4,5. 5,4,3,2,1. There are all here. Outside or inside its easy to lose kids. Don’t misunderstand not really lose they I took all 5 to daycare this morning. But lets be straight up and for serious about this. When was the last time you went from being up all night watching TV or drinking or working or whatever it is you do when you stay up all night to having 5 kids. Not that They stayed up all night or anything … I think I got sidetracked here so I’ll just say this. I am very proud of my Sister and Brother in law for what they do with these kids. I feel very blessed to have them (all 7 of them) in my family now and forever no matter what happens. I love them all. Its hard to have 5 kids and I think They are doing a pretty good job if I do say so myself.

I found this quote today I don’t know said it first but I liked it a lot... Disappointment is just God's way of saying "I've got something better ... Be patient, live life, have faith”


K*

This Little Light Of Mine

This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine.
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Won't let Satan blow it out.
I'm gonna let it shine.
Won't let Satan blow it out.
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Let it shine til Jesus comes.
I'm gonna let it shine.
Let it shine til Jesus comes.
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Hide it under a bushel - NO!
I'm gonna let it shine.
Hide it under a bushel - NO!
I'm gonna let it shine, Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

Let it shine over the whole wide world,
I'm gonna let it shine.
Let it shine over the whole wide world,
I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine.

I know what your thinking... Really like the song from Sunday school when I was like 3 or 4 ... That's right ... I am in Jasper My home away from home currently sitting on the floor between two bedroom... The C's and the super heroes One where I can hear a brother and sister reading the books like chicka chicka boom boom (on of the best books ever)  and something about dragons loving tacos (never heard of that one until yesterday)  and the little C sleeping with his nuk in his mouth happy as can be... And the super heroes (not what sister #2 calls them but that what I'm going with now)  The Hulk (also known as Boots) and IronMan (also known as Steel) IronMan for some reason thinks its a great idea to climb out of his bed into The Hulks... I don't love this idea mostly because then The Hulk is awake and SCREAMING because nobody likes The Hulk when his is angry so instead of checking on them and finding out that I am NOT winning like last night I have planned myself in front of the door way with Sister#2 Laptop ... 

Wait lets back up 

Like a month a go Sister #2 calls me and says "hey did you want to come to Jasper and like with my kids and my dog for a week when I take my high school youth group to camp this summer?  Cause that'd be super"  How does one say no to that.  I have no idea so here I am.  I worked for like noon to almost bar-time one Friday ... Went home slept from 3 or 4 ish until 8:30 drank coffee packed cleaned out my car and hit the road 31 minutes after planned.  Filled up my gas tank and stared the long trip to my second home for 9 days.  when I got here I got 5 super great hugs from 5 super great kids... We watched Finding Nemo read a book and headed to bed.  Well the kids did Sister and I went to The Wal-Mart.  Did some shopping and came home to sit on the porch sing.  The we started to watch Grey's Anatomy my new subsection something I blame Sister #1 and BF#3 for.  Then they went to be I did "shortly" after they did.  They left Sunday morning at 8ish.  Me and 5 kids but hey I got this I just count heads ALOT.  day 1 will be the hardest I think Sunday we played outside twice we watched some Veggietales we ate snacks lunch and dinner and had baths some members of the church family came by to help me but I was alone most of the day with 5 (count them 5) kids.  Turns out I'm SUPER AMAZING and really had no problems.  This morning I woke up at 6:30 ( 5:30 where I live) and had everyone fed and all but one dressed before my help got here.  I have done dishes and swept the floor changed dipper after dipper.  Maybe you didn't already know this about me but I always have music in my head and I like to sing (even if I do it badly)  So with 5 small children runny around I can't sing Mumford and sons and as much as I love Gary Allan I don't know if some of those songs are the best either so I keep coming back to the same some  as seen above.  Big C singes it with me (which I LOVE) she has more the most part been a big help to be.

My Butt is now asleep ... 4 of my 5 kids are now asleep and I think that last one is about to give in ... BUT I can now get off this floor look for more posts about this week in Jasper 

Have Faith

K*

Barton Hollow ~ The Civil Wars

I'm a dead man walking here
But that's the least of all my fears
Ooh, underneath the water

It's not Alabama clay
That gives my trembling hands away
Please forgive me father

Ain't going back to Barton Hollow
Devil gonna follow me e'er I go
Won't do me no good washing in the river
Can't no preacher man save my soul

Did that full moon force my hand?
Or that un marked hundred grand?
Ooh, underneath the water
Please forgive me father

Miles and miles in my bare feet
Still can't lay me down to sleep
If I die before I wake
I know the Lord my soul won't take

I'm a dead man walking
I'm a dead man walking

Keep walking and running and running for miles
Keep walking and running and running for miles
Keep walking and running and running for miles

Ain't going back to Barton Hollow
Devil gonna follow me e'er I go
Won't do me no good washing in the river
Can't no preacher man save my soul

Sometimes things don't make since... Like when you don't talk to someone for months but when you do start talking again its like you talked everyday... doesn't make since...

Or even if you do talk to someone everyday and they still don't know you as well as other people do...

People lie... 

I lie to people... for real I do that... I'm not proud of that but somethings are better to be kept between you and your self.  I have things in my life that I don't want anyone to know about. but is hiding things the same as lying ... that is the real thing here.  Maybe what I do is not lie but I hide things... 

I don't have much to say tonight... nothing has changed, but I'm ok with that... I think ... The nightmares are bad and getting worse ... but not every night like it sometimes is so I'll take it I'm going to Jasper a week from tomorrow which is fun ... guess thats all ... 

I do however really love this song!

Have faith 

K*

I Think I've Had Enough ~Gary Allan

All the days that ended well into tomorrow
All the times I couldn't lay it on the line
This old conscience that I could never follow
I hate to say it but I wish it wasn't mine

All the broken hearts that didn't see it comin’
All the tears that should have never hit the floor
All the lookin’ back but mainly all the runnin’
All these reasons I’m standing at your door

I think I've had enough
This time I’m givin’ in
Without you it’s too rough
So I’m standing here again
I finally realize
It’s love that never dies
And I’m really not that tough
No I’m really not that tough
I think I've had enough

Life is gonna be a circus
Rain or shine
Rides did always make me nervous
So if I’m gonna ride the Ferris wheel I’ll need your hand in mine

I've think I've had enough
This time I’m giving in
Without you it’s too rough
So I’m crawling back again
I've finally realize
It’s love that never dies
And I’m really not that tough
No I’m really not that tough
I think I've had enough
I’m really not that tough
I think I've had enough
Think I've had enough

... Strange things happen in my life

When I find myself having a bad day like most people I will post a thing or two on Facebook or Twitter... The Champ would then send me flower ... well he did once ... Beautiful yellow Tulips it was nice of him but unnecessary.  I did not post those things to get flowers.  It was more just that I wanted someone other then me to know what was going on in my life.  At this point I have blocked The Champ from my Facebook page.  I want every much to be his friend... As much as I want that I think we may need a little space for that to happen because he had or may still have stronger feelings for me then I had for him (I don't know because he tells me one thing and The Coach another) 

May 11 was Mothers day weekend... My southern family came up ... We went to My favorite watering hole in town... My sisters are (for lack of a better word) lame and went home long before I did.  So sitting at my favorite table in my favorite bar with BF#3 when I ran into someone I haven't seen in YEARS (or at least one) someone who is five years older then I am.  Someone I have known since I was like 12.  Someone I had a great big crush on (but really who didn't have a crush on their older sister or brother's friends)  We talked, he told me about his son and that he is was single... we talk, about the bar and banquet hall where I work and that I was also single.  We exchanged phone numbers.  We have hung out twice and and talk everyday if only a "Hi, how's your day going"  It new and nice and I am really enjoying it.  The Irishman named him Mr. Smitten so I guess that's what I'll call him.  One of the girls that works with me is from town and knows Mr.Smitten as well.  When Sport (her nickname) was asked about him (because working in a bar is like high school all over again so everyone has to know everything about everybody)  Her response was that he was a stand up kinda guy who would treat me right... Not only was I standing there when she said that but everyone at the bar told me she said that too...

In February BF#3 and I went to The Rave to see Gary Allan (who we both love)  In April we added to the Group to head back to The Rave to see Randy Houser (who is up and coming a put on a great show)...  In August BF#3 and I are headed to the State Fair to see Both of them together... I cant wait

I have found that living 7 hours away from your best guy friend leaves an opening in your life for a new best guy friend... enter The Irishman.  We talk on the phone a lot and text some.  Hes a good "not" friend and the best part is he doesn't have the 'I'll be really nice to her and then get in her pants' kinda thing going on.  He is just there to listen to me.  As this point I feel like I could tell him anything and he would not judge me.  I need that in my life... sometimes it nice to get a guys point of view that is not A- your dad or brother-in-law or B someone trying to sleep with you.  It helps that he doesn't sugar coat things so I know what he really thinks about thinks. 

I'm trying to get a life ... Hanging out with Mr.Smitten and Tuesday dinners with BF#3 and I'm now playing volleyball Thursday nights.  Having a life is helping me stay positive and happy.  I always have something to look forward to I am slowly but surely finishing my book... and reading lots as I go.  Life is better lately then it has been is while.  I'm happy all the time.  I can't stop smiling... my life is good and I honestly think that even if all the good went away again I could find a way to get it all back ... I'm happy and loving life...

Well its nightie time ...

Have Faith

K*

How Country Feels ~ Randy Houser

You were raised on an asphalt farm
Ain't never heard a rooster crow
Never walked barefoot by a river
Felt the mud up between your toes

You never rolled in the hay
You never thrown it in four wheel
Climb up on here girl
Let me show you how country feels

Let your hair down, hair down
Get you some of this laid on back
Kick your shoes off, kick 'em off
Get you some of this slow down fast
I'll take you up and down these hollers and hills
Let me show you how country feels

You ever watched the sun go down
From the bed of a pickup truck
Ever been so into somebody
You're still lying there when it comes back up

Girl what do you say?
Cut a path through that cornfield
Park down by the water
Let me show you how country feels

Let your hair down, hair down
Get you some of this laid on back
Kick your shoes off, kick 'em off
Get you some of this slow down fast
I'll take you up and down these hollers and hills
Let me show you how country feels

Let your hair down
Get you some of this laid on back
Kick your shoes off (Kick your shoes off)

Let your hair down, hair down
Get you some of this laid on back
Kick your shoes off, kick 'em off
Get you some of this slow down fast
I'll take you up and down these hollers and hills
Let me show you how country feels
Country feels

Not much to report but I was in a posting mood while I added songs to my iPhone that BF#3 gave me tonight at dinner... I am seeing Randy this weekend with BF#3 and the midget ... can't wait!!!

The three of us will look this kind of amazing!!!  

So far the week has gone normal ... I worked yesterday then had dinner with the family then went back and closed the bar with my BBG BFF and Mr Bigglesworth.  Normal.  Then instead of drinking I went to the gym.  Knee high socks and all.  did like an hour.  Went home and could not sleep ... it was like what the hell... I talked to the Irishman for a bit who a shured  me that I am not going to be kidnapped from the BBG and if I am to fight dirty.  LOL  That's pretty much it... how lame and boring... 

once again Happy Post!!! 

Have Faith

K*

I Hope You Find It ~ Miley Cyrus

These clouds aren't going nowhere, baby
Rain keeps coming down
I just thought I'd try to call you, baby
For you got too far outta town
And I hope that you get this message that I'm leaving for you
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

And I hope you find it,
What you're looking for
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be
And so much more

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are
I wanted you to know that
And nothing's gonna change that
And I hope you find it

Am I supposed to hang around and wait forever?
Last words that I said
But that was nothing but a broken heart talkin', baby
You know that wasn't what I meant
Call me up, let me know that you got this message that I'm leaving for you
'Cause I hate that you left without hearing the words that I needed you to

And I hope you find it,
What you're looking for
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be
And so much more

And I hope you're happy, wherever you are
I wanted you to know that
And nothing's gonna change that
And I hope you find it
Whatever it is out there that you were missing here

And I hope you find it,
What you're looking for
And I hope it's everything you dreamed your life could be
And so much more

And I hope you're happy wherever you are
I wanted you to know that
And nothing's gonna change that
No, no, no
And I hope you find it
I hope you find it
Mmm,
Ooh.

Strange things happen in my life...

Sometimes you drive to Jasper in the rain ... it happens ... sometimes your having a super great time but just can't sleep so you sleep through breakfast plans with The Champ and you feel super bad... he then tells you its not a big deal ... but is lying and you know that because The Coach told you so...  LYING is a problem ... 

Sometimes you will work open to close on Wednesday ... ok not sometimes but every week by choice you will work open to close on Wednesday... 

Yesterday was the last night for our bowling league.  By "our" I mean the bowling league that would come in  to the bar every week after they got done bowling.  They were my favorite. Some other friends came in too. Last night was fun in my world.  I got to hang out with k-9 and his cute girl friend...  The Irishman came in and stayed until we locked the doors.  Then him and I sat in my car for about 2 hours talking about life and work and our ex's and how they changed us.  How different life turned out to be.  

I am honestly posting this because I have been posting lots of sad stuff lately and wanted the world to know that I have may have been having a hard time but I gained a new friend out of it so to me that makes it all worth it ... and no matter what the glass is still have full.  
I will find the thing that makes me happy.  The thing that I was put on earth to have.  I have also figured out that if I am meant to have a "love of my life" I he will find me and I should stop looking :) 

Happy Post!!

Have Faith

K*

 Me and Lead 2 Wednesday night with Chevy in the back ground!!

Dancing Away With My Heart~ Lady Antebellum

I finally asked you to dance on the last slow song
Beneath that moon that was really a disco ball
I can still feel my head on your shoulder
And hoping that song would never be over

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart

I brushed your curls back so I could see your eyes
And the way you moved me was like you were reading my mind
I can still feel you lean in to kiss me
I can't help but wonder if you ever miss me

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart

You headed off to college at the end of that summer
And we lost touch
I guess I didn't realize even at the moment we lost so much

I haven't seen you in ages
Sometimes I find myself wondering where you are
For me you'll always be eighteen and beautiful
And dancing away with my heart

Nah nah nah nah (x3)

Away with my heart

Nah nah nah nah (x3)

...

Today is a day like any other Tuesday ... I slept in I cleaned up my room I had lunch with my mom.  I started thinking about my weekend.  I finished my book.  I got my nails done and went to library   I ran to wal-mart.  I had dinner with BF#3.  But tonight we went to Brothers for a beer with one of the bouncers because it's his birthday.  We hung out with 3 of my favorite bodyguards (that's what I call the bouncers at Brothers)  One of them had been married 2 different times... and is never getting married again.  He was giving out free advice.  It made me open about stuff I don't talk about.  Now mind you the beer and shots didn't help me keep my mouth closed at all. (one beer and two shots yes I'm a light weight.)  I wasn't too drunk to drive by any means but I talk a lot when I start drinking.  It doesn't help that Thursday is He who shall not be named's birthday.  Lets just say he's been on my mind a lot this week.(or the past week).  

Strange things happen in my life... I have nightmares about being kidnapped.  I have nightmares period.  One I can't always wake up from. So I don't sleep well.  I take melatonin to help me sleep as long as I can get 8 hours of sleep.  It helped for a while.  Now I am back to having nightmares but because of the melatonin I can't ever wake myself up.

I am angry about everything and nothing all at the same time... I cry a lot... I am sad all the time.  But I put on a brave face. That my dears is why I work so much, why I pull away from everyone and everything.  I run from things that could hurt me.  I've been hurt I don't wanna do it again.  I am afraid all the time.  At this point I only trust about 3 people who are not blood related to me.  I can't bring myself to do it.  People hurt other people.  People are mean and nasty.  People just plain suck...

Tonight after bring up old memory's I wrote this post knowing that I need to pack my suitcase for my much needed weekend away with my sister.  Sometimes I just needed to say these things out loud to someone anyone and just pray that it helps me.  Maybe now that i have said these things I will sleep soundly and dreamlessly.  I will not go upstairs and pack before going to sleep.  I am working open to close tomorrow.  It will be a good distraction from all the crazy thoughts in my head...  

Have Faith

K*

Dancing away with my heart...

Like its a Bad thing ~Gary Allan

They say, I drive a little fast
Say, I like to push the limit
Everyday I'm living like it was my last
They say, Im proud of my scars
Each one tells a story
Got guts and glory down to an art
Say, I know whats its like
To see life pass right before my eyes
Like it's a bad thing.

I dont know about you but I was put here to live and love
So, what if I dont do it like everybody else does
I'm out on the edge, I'm too willing to risk
Every bone, every breath, they say, all I am is a crazy dream
Like it's a bad thing.

So, my heart's been broke
So, I keep on falling
Im nothing but all in when I let go
I wear it on my sleeve
Yeah, they call me a fool cause I still believe
Like it's a bad thing.

I dont know about you but I was put here to live and love
So, what if I dont do it like everybody else does
I'm out on the edge, I'm too willing to risk
Every bone, every breath, they say, all I am is a crazy dream
Like it's a bad thing.
I dont know about you but I was put here to live and love
So, what if I dont do it like everybody else does
I'm out on the edge, I'm too willing to risk
Every bone, every breath, they say, all I am is a crazy dream
Like it's a bad thing.

Like it's a bad thing

...

Sometimes strange things happen in my life...

Somethings people you trust lie to you about things because they don't want to hurt you...  The little sister I never had will now be call my x-bestie

Sometimes people lead you to believe things that may or may not be true... and I don't say that like I do sometimes when I really know whats going on and I am trying to be cheeky about it... The Irishman is just confusing... or maybe its just our friends are confusing ... yea that's it be has been straight with me... 

Sometimes people build you a bar in 4 days... The CBE built a new bar in the banquet hall ... ITS SO PRETTY!!!

Sometimes people have your back that you don't think will... my work family has surprised me the last two weeks

Sometimes people need you stop treating me like a door mat... but I guess that's my fault too...

Next week (4 Days) I will be headed south to see my family.  I am looking very forward to seeing sister #2 brother in law #2 and the Irish twins.  I sometimes wish I wasn't 7 hours away from my sister.  I honestly sometimes think about finding a job half way between my two family's and and making a family.  so within 3 and 1/2 hours I could be with either of them that may need me. I'm a waitress/ bartender after all I can do that anywhere right... but I love it here and I don't know if I could/would want to get two far from stall town USA.  

BF# 3 and I saw Gary Allan together... IT WAS AMAZING now we are planning a trip back to The Rave to see Randy Houser.  I'm, pretty physicked.  We added two more to the group this time... T and one of T's friends...

St. Patrick's day was like another big drinking day at my bar... I got dolled up and posed for photos with the prettiest girl I know... The took another one with my BBG BFF and the bouncers seen below.  The night before Easter was a Hen night with some of the Kwik trip girls ... needless to say my head hurt for dinner the next day... after a nap I stole my favorite 8 year old and went to see The Croods in 3D.  This week after 100 hours (not really but you know what i am) I went to see Jurassic Park in 3D pretty sweet if I do say so... Its getting late and I work all day tomorrow because it's Monday...

Have Faith...

K* 

Sparks Fly~ Taylor Swift

The way you move is like a full-on rainstorm

And I'm a house of cards

You're the kind of reckless that should send me running

But I kinda know that I won't get far
And you stood there in front of me

Just close enough to touch

Close enough to hope you couldn't

See what I was thinking of

Drop everything now, 

meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk, 

take away the pain'

Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile
Get me with those green eyes, baby

As the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around

'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

My mind forgets to remind me

You're a bad idea

You touch me once and it's really something

You find I'm even better than you imagined I would be
I'm on my guard for the rest of the world

But with you, I know it's no good

And I could wait patiently

But I really wish you would

Drop everything now

Meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk

Take away the pain
Drop everything now, meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain'

Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile
Get me with those green eyes, baby

As the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around
'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

I'll run my fingers through your hair

And watch the lights go wild

Just keep on keeping your eyes on me

It's just wrong enough to make it feel right
And lead me up the staircase

Won't you whisper soft and slow

I'm captivated by you, baby

Like a fireworks show

Drop everything now,

meet me in the pouring rain

Kiss me on the sidewalk, 

take away the pain'

Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile

Get me with those green eyes, baby

As the lights go down

Give me something that'll haunt me

When you're not around
'Cause I see sparks fly

Whenever you smile
And the parks fly

Oh, baby, smile

And the sparks fly

OK Truth Time ... I suck at life I've been really busy and Tired and well I just plain suck.  I have left you hanging about my blissful week at the sea but well that's just too bad because today I'm here to talk about Sparks ... not like in the song but Nicholas Sparks... Lets go back shall we ... Picture it Janesville WI February 14, 2002 (or whatever Friday was) I am dating the man who I just KNEW I was going to spend the rest of my life with we'll call him Walker we he wanted to make it a special day for me so he took me to see A Walk To Remember  a super beautiful love story blah blah you don't care or you already know. Then

this pretty steller movie call The Notebook comes out ... I watched most of it. Then The Last Song and even thought i don't love the actors in it I really liked that movie.  There are other movies as well  But little did I know that they were all books that I didn't have any want for need to read... I didn't like to read it was boring and a wast of time ... Fast forward... I realize that reading is fun and the farest thing from wasting time ... Fast Froward more to the week before I'm leaving for vacation BF#3 gives me two books by Nicholas Sparks because I've never read any of them.  I take one with me and after reading it I realize that Nicholas Sparks is my soul mate ... (OK not really hes married and has 5 kids) Safe Haven was the first and so Far my favorite... and no not just because he used my name as the leading lady.  

So Far I have read 6 books and after a trip to the library in Janesville I have 7 and 8 in my house... who would have thought that the little girl who hated to read so much could get lost in a book about made up people and places... I'm no a quest to read them all...

here in this the year of 

THE LIST... 

Read all the Sparks books -working on it

 

Guess that's all

Have Faith

K*

PS I would like to give a  happy birthday SHOUT-OUT to THE COACH!!!  love you friend hope you have a great day!!

That's all

Pontoon~ Little Big Town

Back this hitch up into the water
Untie all the cables and rope
Step onto the astro turf
Get yourself a coozie
Let's go

Who said anything about skiin'?
Floatin' is all I wanna do
You can climb the ladder
Just don't rock the boat while I barbeque

[Chorus:]
On the pontoon
Makin' waves and catchin' rays up on the roof
Jumpin' out the back, don't act like you don't want to
Party in slow motion
Out here in the open
Mmmmmmm...motorboatin'
(Hoo hoo hoo)

Reach your hand down into the cooler
Don't drink it if the mountains aren't blue
Try to keep it steady as you recline on your black inner tube

[Chorus:]
Pontoon
Makin' waves and catchin' rays up on the roof
Jumpin' out the back, don't act like you don't want to
Party in slow motion
Out here in the open
Mmmmmm...motorboatin'

(Hoo hoo hoo)
(Hoo hoo hoo)

[Bridge:]
5 mile an hour with aluminum side
Wood panelin' with a water slide
Can't beat the heat, so let's take a ride

[Chorus:]
On the pontoon
Makin' waves and catchin' rays up on the roof
Jumpin' out the back, don't act like you don't want to
Party in slow motion
I'm out here in the open
Mmmmmmm...motorboatin'
On the pontoon
(Hoo hoo hoo)
On the pontoon
(Hoo hoo hoo)

Back this hitch out into the water
On the pontoon
(Hoo hoo hoo)
(Hoo hoo hoo)

OK i'm gonna be straight with you I HATE this song... its over played and pointless.  But after spending a week on a cruise ship it seamed fitting.... Lets start with Friday

I worked lunch training the Dish Guy... it was his last day of training and he wanted to spend it with me ... Why no one will ever know but he did.  He did well just needs to pick up the computer system a bit more.  Other the that he'll be fine.  Then I set the banquet hall up for 40. Having the room almost complete I headed home for the night.  I made a quick stop at home for a change of cloths then headed to town for get my Fingers and toe nails painted.  Then I ran off to dinner with my whole family.  Even the Family from the south was here.  It was pretty nice I went home with my southern most sister. BF#3 made me a Gary Allan CD to add to my iPhone so I headed back to town and got there and hung out with her and her sister for a couple hours.  

I snapped this super cute photo of BF#3 and her year old niece having snuggle time when she woke for a short time. After getting my newest CD I headed back home to pick up my southern sister from my hometown sisters house.  We hung out there for about another hour then went home to bed.  

Saturday I got up and went to my hair lady's New place together her and I went to town to get my newest red for my hair.  We went back to her place where we spent a few hours hanging out dying my hair to this super Red (that may or may not look slightly purple in the right light) Then I went home to finish packing and headed to work for the evening.  I finished the room with help from the little sister I never had we worked the banquet together then I was sent home to head on my week vacation.  I think that that's enough for this post.  After laying in the sun for a week and napping everyday I night need a short brake ... 

Stay tuned for I have lots more to tell you about ... 

Until then 

Have Faith 

K* 

Blurry~ Puddle of Mudd

Every thing's so blurry
And everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Preoccupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

You could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I'll protect you
From all of the obscene
I wonder what your doing?
Imagine where you are?
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face

Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
To make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble then I crawl

And you could be my someone
You could be my scene
You know that I will save you
From all of the unclean
I wonder what your doing?
I wonder where you are?
There's oceans in between us
But that's not very far

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me

Nobody told me what you thought
Nobody told me what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Told you when to runaway
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
Everyone showed you where to turn
Showed you when to runaway

Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
Well you shoved it my face
This pain you gave to me
No this pain you gave to me
This pain you gave to me

You take it all
You take it all away
Explain again to me
You take it all away
Explain again to me
Take it all away
Explain again
Explain again
Explain again

Happy Birthday (a day late) RBB

Every Storm (Runs out of Rain) ~ Gary Allan

So you're standing in the middle of the thunder and lighting

And I know you're feeling like you just can’t win but your trying

It’s hard keep on keepin’ on when you're bein’ pushed around

Don’t even know which way is up, you just keep spinning down around and down

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

So hold your head up and tell yourself that there’s something more and walk out that door

Go find a new rose, don’t be afraid of the thorns ’cause we all have thorns

Just put your feet up to the edge put your face in the wind

And when you fall back down, keep on rememberin’

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It’s gonna run out of pain

It’s gonna run out of sting

It’s gonna leave you alone

It’s gonna set you free and set you free

Every storm runs, runs out of rain

Just like every dark night turns into day

Every heartache will fade away

Just like every storm runs, runs out of rain

It’s gonna set you free

It’s gonna run out of pain

And set you free

Sometimes you need to be reminded that every storm runs out of rain...

 Sometimes you will get into a text war with someone and the very same night he will show up with all his friends at the bar you work at.  He will sit right across the bar from where you always sit so he can look at you without actually looking at you.  He will act like nothing is wrong even if you did tell him that same day that he had hurt you.  Even if it had been months before that he had hurt you it still hurt.  He will drink with his friends and hang out until you have to make last call.  He will sign his credit card slip tipping only 10% and smile like he is the nicest guy on the face of the earth.  He will walk out of the bar without a second look to see if your looking at him.  Not that you were.  You were watching everyone around him leave to make sure they all got out of the bar in time for you to lock the doors.  

Sometimes on the one night you think you will have to work late because you have a banquet so you allow your self to be parked in because it won't matter anyway you get done Super early.  Knowing you can't leave you decide to have a beer with some friends knowing that the guy from the above paragraph might show up after his shift because your only going to have one so it doesn't matter.  Then you will look up to see Mr. Doubtful sitting at your bar.  But he's not dumb so even though he sees you he knows better then to come talk to you or even look at your for more then a millisecond.  You will leave with no problems.  

Sometimes you will get home from work after a not so long day and stay in your car for over in hour because you can't talk yourself into going into the house and going to bed because it's empty... and nobody like to lay alone in a bed.  Sometimes you just wish you has someone to cuddle with.

But then the next day will come you will see that even all the text wars, jerks at the bar trying to steal looks at you, and coming home to empty bed did not make the world stop turning.  

Sometimes you just have to be reminded that EVERY storm runs out of rain.  Sometimes you need to be reminded that somewhere someone is having a harder time then yourself.  Sometimes you need to hear Gary Allan to know that your are loved and not alone...

Have Faith..

K*

p.s. I will be on a REALLY big boat one week from today for 7 days and 6 nights.... it will be lovely 

Goodbye Love ~ Rent

I hear, there are great restaurants out West

Some of the best, how could she?

How could you let her go? 

You just don't know
How could we lose Angel?

Maybe you'll see why When you stop escaping your pain At least now if you try

Angel's death won't be in vain
His death is in vain

Are you insane? 

There's so much to care about There's me, there's Mimi

Mimi's got her baggage too,

so do you

Who are you to tell me what I know What to do?

A friend but 

Who Mark are you?

"Mark has got his work", they say"Mark lives for his work and Mark's in love with his work"Mark hides in his work
From what? 

From facing your failure Facing your loneliness Facing the fact you live a lie
Yes, you live a lie, tell you why You're always preaching not to be numb When that's how you thrive
You pretend to create and observe When you really detach from feeling alive 

Perhaps it's because I'm the one of us to survive
Poor baby, 

Mimi still loves you Are you really jealous Or afraid that Mimi's weak?

Mimi did look pale
Mimi's gotten thin Mimi's running out of time And you're running out the door

No more, I've gotta go
Hey, for someone who's always been let down Who's heading out of town?

For someone who longs for a community of his own Who's with his camera alone?

I'll call, I hate the fall 

You heard? Every word
You don't want baggage Without lifetime guarantees You don't want to watch me die
I just came to say goodbye love Goodbye love, came to say goodbye love Goodbye
Just came to say Goodbye love, goodbye love Goodbye love, goodbye

Glory, one blaze of Glory, I have to find
Please don't touch me, understand I'm scared I need to go away

I know a place, a clinic, a rehab? Maybe could you? I'll pay
Goodbye love, goodbye love Came to say goodbye love, goodbye Just came to say goodbye love Goodbye love, goodbye love

Hello, disease

It is a new year... I love a lovely Christmas.  It stated of early with a visit from "He who shall not be named" old best fiend ... not that he's old they are just not best friends anymore.  It was super we chatted about life and other things that needed do be talked about.  That was Monday... Friday The Coach and The Champ came up for the weekend. Friday night I worked so they came to the bar.  Saturday we went bowling saw The Hobbit then when to bar.  Sunday we headed back to the bar I work at for some football.  That way I could watch the Packers and They could watch the Colts.  Then they headed home.  I was sad to see them go but didn't have much time to think about it because my Family from the south got here then next day.  I opened and closed to bar on Christmas eve leaving just in time to make it to Midnight mass with my family.  My sister Her husband and their Irish triples stayed with us from Christmas eve until New Years Day.  My house was a whole lot of crazy but looking back I wouldn't change it. I worked spend time with my family got a cold and worked some more.  I am getting on a large boat in about 16 days.  The BF#3 and I are thinking about sending a weekend in the dells.  It could be fun and after being ways for a week I may need a break again.  LOL. I am spending the evening in my bed adding more music to my iPhone.  I need a life.  

I have already worked 32 hours this week and have 3 shifts left... I lost my voice working new years eve.... it's slowly but surely coming back.  I have two banquets this weekend so I'm hopeful it will be back by then...

I have a photo today I didn't find it but I love it

That song is from Rent the musical... one of my all time Favorite movies I am going to watch it as I fall asleep tonight so I thought I would use this song...

Have Faith

K*